시크릿

Little by little, I understand something.....
Something about love~

Love isn't the thing I had thought it was while I'm younger.
I always wondered what would it to be like to be in love.
I'm not sure whether if I had been in love before~

Songs tell me what love feels like and how others enjoy love,
movies and dramas let me see how love comes by and goes away~

Being a teenage isn't as easy as it seems to be,
there is always someone who's finding another,
there will be someone who's waiting for someone,
seeing people falling in love while others falling out,
it really caught my heart into finding out what it is~

I was taught now and then by people who experienced it,
but still, I couldn't find that kind of feeling inside of me,
something inside of me suppose to be belong somewhere else,
where shall I find it?

Being in the early 20s of age, I started feeling the pressure.
The Pressure I called it.
My family started to depend on me in some issues.
Gaining some family responsibility,
I was started to gain interests by relatives in particular field
as me and my brother are so called the youngest 'sons' of paternal part of my family.

It wasn't a surprise that friends of my mother's,
also asking the Usual questions while during visits.

I thought I have been in Love, but I wasn't sure of it.

Back then, I was rumored to like someone, 

truly, I was too somewhat like that person,

but I wans't sure of it then.

At times I felt liking someone, but I wasn't sure either.

Uncertainty surely wears out feelings, Time further catalyze it without any actions.

Basically, I felt all the same to everyone, except to those I hate.

I couldn't differentiate what is like and what is love.

Love is patient, Love is kind,
Love means slowly losing your mind

                                              ~27 Dresses~

For that quote above, I'm sure I'm not even close to Love.

For my eyes are as bright as an eagle,
I cannot foresee what's waiting for me on this route of Love~

For my ears are as sharp as a dog,
I shall listen carefully to my heart on the matter of Love~

For my mind are as deep as trench,
I search for the one that I shall walk with in the world of Love~