Today it's the first day of Chinese New Year, a Snake Year, second circle of my life.
Days ago, while I was cleaning up my house room, I dug out some old stuff, photos, souvenir from my past trips and my school notes among other things. I realized how much did I actually missed my childhood life and my life before university. I've forgotten most of my primary school life especially friends who I spent time with. I've forgotten their names and cannot remember their faces clearly. I was quite playful and childish during my primary school time, I like to mess around and cry a lot too... Not a crybaby, but just like to cry when scolded by parents and bullied by some people. I like the fact that I am still friends with some of my primary friends until now, or in some case, just found out and was happy that they were actually same class as me...
People are different now than before over the years... My secondary school life was quite fun, I joined a few society and plan activities together with my friends. Of course, I done some stupid things too... I missed that life of mine where I can freely lay over the grass of my school field, get my hands dirty in the dirt of the vegetable garden my society is handling, station games and throwing water balloons at everyone I come across after school.
The times when we compete to finish up our maths exercise books even before our teacher teach that part.
The times when we tried to hide our CDs and Game Cards away from the discipline teacher.
The times when we are so close to our teacher that we delivered a small performance for her retirement.
The times when we caused the whole school to be in smoke just because we try to raise a fire to barbecue corns and potatoes.
The times when we held a small Mid-autumn festival party night in the school, with the school's approval, with teachers and friends.
The times we are the best of school and did wonderful things in the school. [Well, not the best, or the most remembered wonderful things, but it was the best and wonderful in my memory]
By then, I already started to do my "solo" stuff, I joined the fire brigade's cadets which almost none of my surrounding friends join, mixing my life there for a year more, I had some fun but I was eventually soloed out by other races. I was the last of the Chinese in there. I could not stand the hard-communication with other that time, so I quit. By then I was active joining my favorite society if the school and not regretting leaving the cadet's life. The cadet's life did toughen myself a bit in discipline and being tough in life.
As I said, things changed through the years, my attitude, my friends and connection between us has changed a lot, influence by the duration we're not together, the distance that separate us, the experience that had change us physically and emotionally. I can accept certain things, but couldn't really understand. My certain friends had sometimes abandoned me, but I couldn't figure out for what kind of reason they would acting like that, since we're quite close for years. Not something I would like to be babbling about right now.
Well, moving on towards my Pre-U life, my Form 6 life. It was an exciting 2 years for me, as it was somewhat challenging change in my life and on how I treated school was. I had both wonderful teachers and stab-to-the-heart kind of teacher. Good and bad experience from those times are what I missed that time, especially during the time we're being challenged or rather we challenge our patience with that teacher, who we dislike the most. Maybe we're the sort of generation who like to do things passionately, which resulting it to be an hot issue of the school of that year, I believe, that incident was even spread to other school. Woah!! That are the times I missed now, with those bunch of friends to do those ridiculous things. HAH!!
Soon, those time became a kept memory after I entered my university. My university was a confusing life for me. All those happiness, sadness, frustration, responsibility, duty among other stuff had messed up and made up my current life now. Before I enter university, I scared that I won't be able to make some friends, but eventually found them. At first, my way of making friends was by sticking on their back, however I soon detached from them as I begin to be busy with more and more society and activities. I had my hectic year during my first and second university life being a newbie and later committee of societies. Sometime I was frustrated by my plans and not being able to cope with the stress coming all around, leaving some regrets in my university life for not being able to treat some people better and completing my task as my position. My third year was eventful and full of ups and downs, it was my final years which requires me to produce a thesis paper of my own. I was carefree sometimes and rather being the-path-will-straighten-as-I-walk attitude.
As my close friends are getting closer, the more we found out about each other and that we tried to adjust ourselves to each other. Maybe it's my attitude or their own attitude, idk, but they figured out that I had attitude "problems". LOL... From that time, it was my emotional times. I figured it will be okay for us again in the future, so, why worry then.
Memories are something to be remembered, not to carry on.
Experience are things never to be forgotten, but never to be kept the way they are.
Dream are meant to be dreamed, but doesn't mean it's impossible.
Achievement are meant to be reached, but never to be really reached.
Sky can be high, sea can be deep, but what is both high and deep? It's not an unanswerable question.
